MAKEUP EXPIRATION DATE! WHAT TO KEEP WHAT TO TOSS!



Your expiration date and a life of chronic pain

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Is it ever too late? Well, sure, when you stop breathing, when your heart stops or when you are Wiley Coyote and the Road Runner just dropped an anvil on your head. In the meantime, you're alive. As far I know, I'm still alive; the question is, do you and I have an expiration date?

I do have to confess there are days when parts of my body feel like they have passed their expiration date. I don't feel curdled, like past date milk, but I do look curdled. This whole aging thing can be so depressing. I don't squeak when I walk but I do click and pop a bit at times. I haven't found any stamps on my body anywhere that state my expiration date is up, unless it's hidden in a wrinkle somewhere. As a nurse I find it intriguing in a macabre sort of way that newborns enter the world with wrinkles, especially premies and we leave the world with wrinkles. Newborns are self-focused and needy because they have to be for survival.  As infants we need diapers, and you know the rest if you know any very elderly seniors.  Life is a full-circle, indeed, but that doesn't mean, because we live with daily pain that we have to start circling the drain.

Yesterday, I had the grim experience of having a picture taken, up close, signs of aging and all. Thank God it was my daughter and son-in-law that were clicking cameras and not some poor stranger. My family is used to looking at my decay. I guess, I've been fooling myself. Now don't give me that old line about, "You look great." I don't. "At least you've got your health." I don't. "But you have a family who love you." Most of the time, I should say, that's true. I remember my Mom used to say she felt young inside as she aged, except when she looked in the mirror. She lived to be 93. Which fairy tale was that with the "mirror, mirror on the wall?" Where are those magic mirrors when you need one?

Yesterday I saw, up close and personal, the toll this past year has taken on my face and my health. It's all falling down. It's one thing when your boobies descend as if reaching for the ground, but it's more heart wrenching when the prednisone induced jowls of your face fall to your shoulders. I lost twenty pounds last year but apparently, fate is cruel and I lost it in all the wrong places. Please excuse me if I offend but I am here to announce, my ass is gone. Now, tell me, how can something that has disappeared still hurt this much. Life, you are so cruel.

When Jim got home from work I was still quite depressed, which was helped along by a current cold and the usual pain everywhere. I told him, "Why didn't you tell me I was getting so ugly? I can't decide if I look more like Charlie McCarthy (the puppet of years gone by) or an apple doll (all wizened and dry). I used to be pretty, now I'm just sort of squidgy around the edges."

After looking at me, as if for the first time, my dear husband, sitting on a kitchen stool prominently overweight, balding yet cute, stated, "Well, I don't know," while rubbing his protruding tummy, "I guess us glamorous people will just have to put up with you."

I guess I have to officially announce that my expiration date is up. However, since I'm not a carton of milk, a medication or a carton of sour yogurt, I think I'll just keep plodding along with what I have left. Mirrors will be covered, there will be no more pictures and I will continue to think I'm attractive as soon as I get over this current trauma.

I know the truth. We all age and should be glad if we're still breathing. I know it's never too late for second chances, new lives and all that. I also, truly, know my heart and mind are still young. It will just take me awhile to get used to my shell falling apart. Remember that old camp song, "Do your ears hang low, can you wag them to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?" Well, choose a part of your body, like sagging boobies and sing out, loudly. We're never too old to laugh at ourselves. Right?

Last Updated:5/28/2009
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Date: 12.12.2018, 10:03 / Views: 62375